"Well, here also talked. I am solidary with Larisa. From a conversation with it, I understood that it is the same victim of love interlacings and circumstances, as well as I. She did not want to pull down family, it so collapsed without participation someone from the outside. As I was blind that did not notice obvious things. He never loved me. It needed only posterity, posterity − more than nothing. If he loved me, then he would not change me, and he? That for a goat really!?

From Larisa's memoirs

After the conversation with Vera I understood that her feelings to Roman of an okholodela at her. It was cold to it. But nevertheless she was not indifferent to his grief. She knew that his mother lies on a hospital bed partly and through her fault now. She knew about her state of health and could not. The involuntary victim of our dismantling and I became their match. Though without me it was unclear there that.

Chapter-10

Roman's birth

There passed days ever since as Nadezhda got to institute of Burdenko. Now, lying not movably on a hospital bed, she thought of the life lived by it for which she made a lot of things and nothing. She was not sorry about anything, except one. She could not understand still how she missed the son. He grew at the obedient and cultural child, always obeyed the parents, never contradicted them. What happened to it? Why it violated all laws of marriage and went on the left? Really matter only in child? Yes, it is of course an essential factor, but there are many ways to get children. Adoption, substitute mother, at last, patronage. No, he wanted the child conceived in the natural way.

"I mean nothing to it, he remembered me only when did a heap of affairs: and what, mother was necessary? All of them are such, children. Remember the parents only in urgent cases, and for the rest we are not necessary to them. Oh, My God, for what to me such punishments? Take me to yourself, give rest. And they will understand to what. But how my councils? Really nobody listens to them, unless they are necessary to nobody? Yes, to anybody. Even my loved ones, and that could not care less of everything; why I have to care for them if they about me − are not present? Because they are my close relatives? Are good, there is nothing to tell. I because of the sonny appeared here that to him it was empty. It is good, there is nothing to tell. Brought me to a paralysis − and in bushes. Son of the father! Same rascal, and swine".

Meanwhile, Roman worried about health of mother. He understood that it − the only person in his life who will always support him at a difficult moment who will not leave it at any situations in life. Somehow she told it that mother is a friend, the companion and the adviser in the unique person, and he remembered these words well.

Larisa, creature! What it is after all a creature. It was gathered impudence and secured to mother. Knew that it will not lead to anything good. That devils in hell gobbled up you, be damned that day when I saw you. Forgive, mother, I'm sorry, I was such fool! All wanted own children, thought, in them my happiness. And absolutely forgot about you. Forgive me, forgive".

I did not move a step from the husband. Roman though the rascal, but he is still my husband, both in sorrow, and in joy. I consoled him as could. He was depressed. I saw how he suffers, suffers from helplessness. I as could, consoled him, but it was inconsolable. He damned everyone and everything, Larisa and her conversation with it, she was silent. Had now no time for it. All hoped that Nadezhda will recover.

Larisa wanted to talk to Nadezhda, to explain her all current situation, but could not. She as well as the others waited that she will recover and will listen to her to understand.

I always considered that Nadezhda is not so ordinary as could seem at first sight. She somehow time told me: "Vera, I will always love it and whatever it happened, I will never hurt it". So it also was to this case with Roman's treason. Who nevertheless is guilty of the incident? The answer was obvious to Nadezhda. Vera is guilty. Not her son. For each mother someone is always guilty another, only not her child. Now, lying unconscious, it is helpless, she knew, no, she was sure that it so it also is. Ah, if she could talk to the son and to return back everything, to the past. She would not grant permission for anything for this marriage. She would marry him to Nina Mikhaylovna Lopukhova better and she would know that this marriage is reliable. But everything happened not as she wanted. Roman married Vera, and Nina appeared aside. It would seem that here it that Roman married not that who was wanted by his mother? But Nadezhda already then knew that this marriage will not lead it to anything good. So it also happened.

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